


Peter Nureyev and the Private Eye

by writingpun



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode Rewrite: s01e01-02 Juno Steel and the Case of the Murderous Mask, M/M, POV switch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22010185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingpun/pseuds/writingpun
Summary: Hello, dear traveler, and welcome to the Penumbra. May I take your coat? We have something unusual for you today.It seems that there is more than one door in the hotel that leads to Juno Steel's fateful case dealing with a certain murderous mask... but this room is not where Juno Steel is staying. Instead, it's being used by a nameless thief, who at last is ready to tell his side of the story.Let's see if he's in.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	Peter Nureyev and the Private Eye

Peter Nureyev was feeling just a little impatient.  
  
Not only had the job been all but ruined, now he had to find some way to do damage control. His first instinct had been to just leave. After all, he wasn’t on the tapes and his fingerprints wouldn’t turn anything up. But if he didn’t get the mask, it would be a slight on his professionalism. He couldn’t have that.  
  
So he’d pulled a few strings, gotten himself a nice alias as Agent Rex Glass of Dark Matters, and turned up outside the office of one Juno Steel, Private Eye.  
  
When the doors opened, he found himself in a crowded, messy-looking receptionist area where a small woman sat behind a desk piled high with junk food and holo-screens of various shapes and sizes. She looked up sharply when Peter entered. The movement didn’t match the disarmingly cheerful expression on her face.  
  
“Hiiiii~! I’m Rita! Welcome to the office of one Mistah Steel, Private Eye!”  
  
Peter smiled and swept up to the desk. “Delighted to meet you, Miss Rita,” he said, taking one of her hands and pressing it briefly to his lips. “And I am Agent Rex Glass, of Dark Matters.” He straightened, bringing out his alias’s ID just long enough for Rita to get a good look without being pretentious. Rex Glass, Peter decided, wasn’t too much of a showoff. Well, not in this situation, at least. Put a cute man in front of him, and perhaps that would change. “Might I go in to see Mr. Steel?”  
  
“Oh! Sure!”  
  
“Thank you. And might I say, you look absolutely stunning.” Peter knocked while Rita giggled and blushed, and when there was no answer, he called into what he could only assume was Juno’s office: “Hello? Detective Steel, are you in there?”  
  
He heard the muffled sound of cursing, but no footsteps coming towards the door. Well, Peter’s contact had said this particular detective could be a little… difficult to work with.  
  
Peter turned back to Rita, flashing her his most dazzling smile. “Dear, could I ask you to—” No sooner had he started the question than Rita had opened the door. “Thank you. You are a gem upon Mars, Rita— and twice as beautiful.”  
  
He left her to her own devices and walked through the door, straightening his lapels. Always best to make a good impression.  
“Ah, Detective Steel! How lovely to meet you at… last.”  
  
The scene greeting Peter did not quite fit the internal script he’d had laid out. Juno’s section of the office was at least as messy as Rita’s, but in the opposite direction. Whereas Rita’s desk looked like several teenagers had just thrown a sleepover on top of it, Juno’s looked like it had been inhabited for the past twelve years by a crazed conspiracy theorist who drank a lot and hated traditional organization with all the passion with which he loved red string. Said conspiracy theorist was, at the moment, halfway out the window, looking back over his shoulder with an expression of disappointed panic. And, worst of all, this Juno was, well. There was no way around saying it: he was Peter’s type exactly. Somewhat scruffy, somewhat haggard— but underneath the exhaustion lay a deep anger. He had one of those faces that was so easy to read, too.  
  
Peter didn’t know quite how to respond, so he said the first thing that came to mind: “Detective, are you trying to crawl out that window?”  
  
Detective Steel flashed a quick smile that said _This is not the most embarrassing thing I’ve done_ and replied, “I’d say I was succeeding.”  
  
Peter decided he was going to flirt with this private eye a lot. “Well, I’ve heard that people do things differently on Mars,” he said, striding over to join Juno, “but I must admit that this is a surprise! You’ll have to show me your customs, Detective. Is there room in that window for two?”  
  
The private eye shifted so he could see into the office better, cocked his head to the side. His eyes traced Peter’s face. Peter was almost glad he was wearing sunglasses. Detective Steel had a way of looking at you that made you feel like you were being interrogated. Not in a bad way, just… like he was silently asking you if he could trust you.  
Then he sighed and broke eye contact, climbed the rest of the way out of the window. “Agent Glass, right?”  
  
“Only to my mother, Detective Steel. Call me Rex, please.”  
  
“Yeah, I think I’ll pass.” Juno turned his head towards his office door, now closed again. “Rita!” He paused to hear her answer, and when she didn’t, surprise and irritation flickered across his face in turns. “Rita!”  
  
“Oh, I wouldn’t bother calling for her, Detective. Miss Rita has been...taken care of.” Peter was smiling, though not, admittedly, for the reasons Detective Steel so clearly thought when he turned back to face Peter.  
  
“The hell is that supposed to mean?”  
  
Peter wondered: if he pushed this far enough, would he get pinned against the wall? Probably not, but there was only one way to find out. “Dealt with? Accounted for? I’ve euphemisms to go around, Detective.”  
  
“Rita!” The good detective turned back to the door and started towards it, leaving Peter slightly disappointed but not surprised. He cast an angry look back at Peter. “You better not have laid a finger on her, you--”  
  
“Oh, nothing of the kind,” Peter said, as the door opened to reveal Rita, just fine at her desk, albeit still enraptured by the earlier compliments.  
  
She giggled when she saw him. “Oh. Hello there, Agent Glaaass!”  
  
Detective Steel closed the door and turned back, looking supremely irritated.  
  
Peter smiled. “I just found the right way to talk to her,” he remarked, moving to join Juno near the door. “There’s a right way to talk to everyone, Detective— you just have to find it.” He placed his hand on the small of Juno’s back. “Here’s hoping we find ours soon, eh?”  
  
Juno smiled, flushed, and came embarrassingly close to echoing Rita’s giggle, but quickly turned it around. “You, uh, should tell your coworker that.” He twisted as he spoke, removing Peter’s hand. “Just got off the phone with Agent Wire.”  
  
“Oh? Would you mind catching me up on what you know over dinner? Introductions make me so peckish.”  
  
“You can eat in the car, I’m in kind of a rush,” the detective replied. “Some mummy wants me dead or something.” Apparently, Juno Steel wasn’t big on dinner dates. Oh, well. Peter would have to try again later.  
“It doesn’t sound like that scares you much,” he said, almost absently, as they left the office together.  
  
“Honestly, it doesn’t.” Juno stepped up to a car that, frankly, looked like it belonged in a museum and started rounding it to get in.  
  
One of the many little subroutines Peter had established in his head reminded him that he was Rex Glass, expert on the occult. “Well, perhaps you’ve been poorly informed, then,” he said. “You see, according to legend, Grim’s ghost takes a subcorporeal form made primarily of animal bones, serrated brass, and clotted blood, and he tears each of the targets of his vengeance into—”  
  
“You getting in the car or what?”  
  
Peter grinned. “Only teasing, Detective, only teasing.” He leaned forward to rest his chin on the car roof that now separated them. “And even if you are torn to shreds by the talons of an undead nightmare, it won’t have been for nothing! This little escapade has gotten me to Mars, and” (play it cool) “it’s gotten me to you, Juno Steel.” Peter tilted his head to the side. “And I have to say, I’m enjoying both already.”  
  
Juno’s expression flickered again, but this time he seemed to get a handle on his emotions much more quickly. “You sure sound like it.” He held eye contact for just a second longer, but that was the only clue that he wanted to prolong the conversation. Peter latched onto it like it was a life preserver as they both climbed into the car.  
  
Juno stuck his keys in the ignition. “Ready to go?”  
  
“Oh, Juno,” Peter said, savoring the name, “I’m always ready.”  
  
And then they were off.


End file.
